With all the Happy New Year stuff happening in the last week or so seems to come constant posts, conversations, and Instagram captions about the highlights of 2016 and goals for 2017. I've had a hard time making myself put into words what my "resolutions" are, partly because it feels like a "resolution" lasts for like 8 days until we all start missing the Lay's potato chips and toast for breakfast and IPAs. So I really didn't set any "resolutions" this year. And yet, I've put a lot of thought into what I want out of 2017, and more importantly what I want out of life.
My mom said she read somewhere that we should have intentions, rather than resolutions. Some things that we'd like to focus on and be intentional about, rather than flat-out changes we're going to make on January 1st. So I've thought a lot about the things that I'd like to be intentional about, for this coming year and for all the years coming. I feel very unsettled in my life right now. Maybe this is a feeling that never goes away? Kind of like how 55-year-olds say they still don't know what they want to be when they grow up? I don't know - I hope this unsettled feeling goes away soon. But with it I have put a lot of time (mostly in my head - #privatepersonprobs) into thinking about what it is that I want out of life. Maybe my dreams are outrageous. And most likely I can't have all these things. Maybe (in the words of the Rolling Stones) you can't always get what you want and I most certainly know that life isn't perfect. But I also know that if I don't dream like crazy these realistic feet of mine are never going to leave the ground. So for now, I'm gonna keep my head and my dreams up in the clouds and do what I can to get everything I want out of life.
I want a home. A Home, not just a house. Something cozy, comfy, and full of love - not just all the materialistic things I slap all over my Pinterest boards. But, I do want a big bathtub. And maybe I'm just saying this because I just took a bath with music, a candle, a glass of wine, and my puppy chewing her bone on the rug next to me, while either my shoulders or ankles were chilly because the bathtub isn't big enough and the drain doesn't hold water perfectly. So I want a mama-needs-a-bath kind of bathtub.
I want a kitchen in my home that everyone knows is made for dance parties. I want to have dinner with my family and clean up dinner while my kids run around the island or dining table because they like the song that came on the stereo. I want everyone to be talking at once, shooting nerf guns, rolling their eyes, and snapchatting their friends. Life is too short. I want to have dance parties every night.
I want love. Yeah, sure, the perfect kind like in the movies. Maybe Allie and Noah in the Notebook isn't real love, but I'm still going to dream and hope and wish for sharing my life with a person who can drive me crazy but that I love like crazy. If you're a bird, I'm a bird, right?
I want to kiss my kids goodnight and goodbye and hello and catch ya later. I want to snuggle up to my husband in bed each night because he is the best part at the end of a long day. I want to see as much live music as possible. Visit as many different places as possible. Try new things but have comfort in knowing that I'm going home to my routine - the things I know are always there. I want to love on my Stella and nurture my friendships. I want my mom to be my best friend and I want to put up with my brother so I can hang with his cool wife ;)
I want to be intentional about my health - not for the sake of being skinny or looking good in a swimsuit, but for feeling good. I want to be confident and strong and feel sore the next day after a good yoga class. But, I still want to wake up with a headache after girls night because life is too short to not have that too. I want to make more time for writing, and healthy relaxation, and candlelit baths - no matter how chilly my toes get.
I'm sure there are more dreams, so many more than I can possibly list out right now. But most importantly, I want family and love and comfort. I have spent too much of my life not striving or thinking about what I want out of this time I have on Earth. So from now on, I'm going to dream. 2017, for now, is about me just doing me. It might sound selfish, but that's ok right now. It also might be crazy and my dreams might sound silly. But I'm gonna get these silly dreams of mine. Maybe not the jacuzzi tub or maybe I won't get to travel the world, but I'll get close. And I'll get the super important ones at least. I pinky-promise I will. And when I do, I'll have you over to my house for a dance party.