Monday, November 11, 2013

Reaching my Happy Weight

Why is it so hard to talk about weight? I suppose because it has to do with our bodies, confidence, looks, insecurities, and lots of other things that aren't always the most comfortable conversations. I know what I'm trying to write about right now but I'm having a hard time knowing where to start or how to say it. So I think I'll just start writing without trying to sugar-coat anything or worry about how it sounds...

I want to lose weight - about 20 pounds actually, which is a lot. The part that I think is the most embarrassing is that I've done it before: almost 4 years ago I weighed a little over this weight, worked my butt off (literally!), lost over 20 pounds, and felt great about myself in time for our wedding day. Since our wedding day just over 3 years ago, I've slowly put the weight back on. I'm not at my all-time high but I'm close and it's so disappointing to think about having to start all over again.
Feeling like you're starting all over sucks. But I want to.

Not pictured: husband holding train of dress.

I remind myself all the time that I want to do this to be healthy. And although being healthy is not about a number on the scale, I need to get my weight back down to the number where my mind+body feel happy, healthy, and relaxed - my Happy Weight. In the grand scheme of things this is not about being skinny, looking great in a bikini, or having a nice butt; although those would all probably be in the "Top 10 Perks of Being at Your Happy Weight". This is about relieving stress, having a healthy heart, being active, getting good sleep, and feeding my body energizing foods.

My pants don't feel comfy - unless you count my leggings as pants. I don't enjoy getting dressed in the morning. I don't really feel like shopping for clothes. These are all things that just feel like a complete bummer right now. I've been working harder for the past 4ish weeks, but I haven't been giving it 100%. Sure, I've been to the gym and have been making some better eating choices in the past 30 days, but I've only lost like 2 pounds and I know I can do better. I want to do better. I want to be at that Happy Weight again and I don't want to let myself use Thanksgiving, Christmas, Veteran's Day, Election Day, Boxing Day or any other holiday as an excuse. I want to start the 2014 New Year with a resolution to 'keep living a healthy life and mantain my weight', rather than 'start living a healthier life and lose weight'.

Anyone else with me or ever struggle with this?

And on a serious note: Thank you to all of our Veterans who have served our country and all the men and women who are doing so currently. We are lucky to live in a country protected by those brave men and women. 

9 comments:

  1. Good luck to you! I am currently in the process of trying to get back to my happy weight too. I go through cycles, like you described, of finding that weight, getting comfortable and it slowly creeps back on. Right now I am trying to lose 20 pounds as well. I started working out on a regular basis again about 6 months ago, but I was not giving it 100%. Some days I didn't even sweat when I worked out! How did I expect to lose weight? :( Since Nov 5th I have been on a "give it one month" kick, working out harder and eating better and I already lost 4 pounds!!!!! :) You can do it!! :)

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  2. My friends and me are doing the same thing. Getting back to healthy eating and working out consistently. It is tough but so worth it. You got this!

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  3. I'm totally with you! I'm basically the same situation as you. You can do it!!!

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  4. Ah totally there. Its just not any fun when you don't feel good about yourself! Its hard to make the sacrifices to eat healthy, but I feel so much better when I do that!

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  5. Good luck! If I can do this, you can too! Right now I'm on the wedding diet. 5 months to go and I'm finding it so hard to stay focused. Thanks for sharing and for the motivation!

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  6. You look amazing!!!! Good luck!!! I am dieting and it is hard but you look amazing girl!

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  7. GIRL this is seriously a post I could've written word for word. I lost about 20 pounds a few years ago, was in the best shape ever, and over the past few years, about 20 pounds have creeped on, a couple here, a couple there, and now my clothes dont really fit and I just feel terrible about myself. Lets keep each other motivated as we make the journey to our fit, healthy, happy weight !

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  8. I have been struggling like no other as of late....boo!!! You look great in your wedding pics!

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  9. Hi! I completely understand about just wanting to be healthy. I actually linked to this post in a new post on my blog today. Thanks for being an inspiration and keep on being a rockstar!

    xoxo Jenny
    sprinklesandsundresses.blogspot.com

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