Wednesday, March 27, 2013

the way we get to the part where we kiss + make up




we have been married for 2 years and.... 6 months. {oops, just realized neither of us remembered it was our half-anniversary on the 24th... oh well.} marriage is awesome. it is downright the best decision we ever made, but it's not all roses, fireworks, laughing, and happy times obviously. most times it's great but sometimes we argue which, for 2 very stubborn people, is not always very effective. it took us about 2 years to figure out that sometimes, in the heat of an argument, it's best for us to just stop. stop talking completely. it allows us to relax. it allows me, probably the more stubborn one, to realize that maybe it's not as big of a deal as i'm making it seem. it allows my husband, the thinker, to formulate into words what he wants to say. we normally give it anywhere between 5 and 15 minutes. and by the time we are both ready to talk again, the anger is gone and we're ready to forgive and discuss. it's our process for getting to the part where we kiss + make up. 

so my husband called me tonight because he's out of town for work. we talked (if you could call it that) for about 30 minutes and said our goodbyes because we knew the unpleasant conversation was going nowhere. then he called about 10 minutes later. when i answered, the first thing he said was "was that enough time?" frankly, it hadn't been enough time. i wanted to say to him "i love you but i really don't like you right now". i hadn't been ready to let go and move on yet. but when he asked me that, it made me smile. i smiled because it reminded me how we know each other so well. we have come so far in these 2 1/2 years to know that we need those 10 minutes of alone time in the midst of an argument. in the spirit of full disclosure, i was glad this was all happening on the phone and not in person because i hate it when he makes me smile when i'm still trying to be mad about something.

we said sorry, i love you, and talk to you later. all is well.

i thank God every day i have parks in my life. i also ask God to help us keep learning together. i love that i continue learning new things about my husband even though i have known him for the past 9 years. i swear, i could write a 500-page book about everything i've learned since graduating college.
ya feel me?
truth be told, i love that he makes me smile, whether i want to or not.

2 comments:

  1. I agree on writing that book after college! haha!

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  2. hahaha you remind me so much of me! I can be so stubborn and so can Joe! Sometimes I burst out laughing at how ridiculous we are right in the middle of a fight. Today I was mad at him for some reason or the other and I said I'm going shopping…still angry, he taps on the window, I roll it down and he says.."just incase something happens, I love you…then he kissed me. I said…just because you are being cute doesn't mean I'm not still mad. lol. I know I could write a book too sister! Amen to that!

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